Justice (S1 ep 8)

Back in the late fall of 1987, when this episode came out, I was a strapping lad of about 100 pounds and well into my 10th year of school. At that time I wasn't very sure of myself, but if you were to ask me at that time what are some unassailable facts about fashion I would have said something like this:

• Horn-rimmed glasses were stupid, and would never be popular again.
• Bell-bottomed pants were stupid, and would never be popular again.
• Low-cut pants (or shorts, or bikini's, whatever) were stupid and would never be popular again.
• The mullet was the greatest men's hairstyle ever invented, and would be eternally popular.
• Long shorts (that went past the mid-thigh) were stupid and were a fad that would quickly fade into obscurity.
• Regular shirts with tux tails were the pinnacle of human fashion. Nothing would ever improve on it. 

I'm sure there were others, but those are the things I felt most strongly about at the time. So my point with all that is that Star Trek: TNG seemed to go out of their way to portray men is some nontraditionally male regalia. There were the man-dresses that were introduced in Encounter at Farpoint, but the men of this planet Rubicon III dressed worse than Sean Connery did in Zardoz. What's the man version of camel toe? Whatever it is, the Rubiconians had lots of it.

Sexy?

Sexier?

My point is that this episode looks awful. Reminds me of those late-night skinemax movies I used to sneak and watch late at night when I would visit people who had the pay channels on cable.

The gist of the episode is this: Picard and the gang stumbled onto a planet of beautiful sexy people and decide it's time for some sexy-time. So they immediately beam down Wesley (the one under-age person on the show) and a few others to make sure the partying goes well before sending down the whole ship's crew.

Pretty quickly, after Wesley impresses the locals by running, sorta, and doing cartwheels, and teaching the young teens how to play 'ball.' He gets carried away in his exploits he ends up trashing some plants and is sentenced to death. Because, of course.

At the same time, Picard and Data have made contact with some aliens in orbit that sees the Rubiconians as their children. Those aliens don't talk much, but seem willing to sorta let the Enterprise hang out without killing them all.

But once those aliens learn about the Prime Directive, which roughly is the Federation's rules regarding non-interference in the internal affairs of a primitive world, they seem to think that means that Wesley should not be exempted from the laws of the Rubiconians.

In the end, Picard decides the Prime Directive is stupid and plans on kidnapping Wesley. But the aliens are mighty and won't allow the Enterprise to beam anyone up. So Picard says about two sentences into the sky, dramatically, about how unfair their laws are, and then the aliens release their transporter blockage and let the kidnapping go on unhindered.


Some thoughts:

• Tasha filed a report on their laws and customs. Seems like she did a shitty job considering.
• It looks like the entire advance party had an orgy of some sort when they visited the planet. It struck me as odd that Dr. Crusher next commented that it would be a great place for kids.
• The aliens here are EXACTLY like sexy humans. I just noticed that of the aliens we've met so far, a significant percentage of them are 100% human in appearance. 
• If I were Wesley, I would have said please treat me just like an adult. I mean, he was a teenager. They have hormones in the future, right?
• The running thing. That's pretty weird. Wesley seems really excited to show them he can run (at a very leisurely pace)
• Wesley says 'watch this!' and does a cartwheel. Is he supposed to be 8?
• And the teenage girl says, 'will you teach me to play ball?' I know she must have been sexy flirting, but that is embarrassingly bad. 
• Wesley might not have deserved death, but he was very unaware of his surroundings when he trashed the plants. He should have been spanked or something. 
• Wesley is with Starfleet and doesn't lie. Just FYI.
• Tasha had to examine the syringe before deciding it was a syringe. If she made that sort of careful study of their laws maybe they wouldn't have been in this mess. 
• The Prime Directive. Ugh. Is it ever accomplish anything good? 
• Picard moralizes about how evolved humans are again. He's really into how awesome humans have become.
• On a side-note to these random thoughts, godlike aliens are judging humans, AGAIN. This is at least the Third time this has happened. Sheesh.
• Dr Crusher finds out Wesley (her son) is about to be killed and when she confronts Picard about it he shooshes her and walks away. That's badass.
• Rewetching this episode, I just realized that these Rubiconians might be future Nazis. You know, after all those blonde-haired blue-eyed eugenics programs have run their course. Hitler would be proud.

In all, aside from the pretty ladies, there is little to like here, in my opinion. Wesley is written like he's a 8 year-old and the crew shows an incredible lack of due diligence in investigating the planet before letting children run around on it.

The Prime Directive is horrible as a plot device in this episode, because it's pretty stupid sounding as it's half-heartedly explained. And the inexplicable aliens that serve as the 'god' to the people of Rubicon III are really not that committed to making sure Starfleet follows their own Prime Directive after Picard give such a short rebuttal those unseen aliens seemed to have shrugged to themselves and been like, 'who cares?'

Seriously, this was pretty bad.

My rating?

1 out of 5